One of the Biggest Cliches of Them All

Let's confront one of the biggest and baddest cliches about single mothers out there - that we all women with all-consuming, high paying, fulfilling careers that just never made time to focus on relationships.

WRONG.

We're not all straight out of an '80s movie, wearing boxy suits and one-inch pumps and trying to get ahead at the expense of the evil male coworker who wants to put us in our place. We are regular, ordinary girls who just didn't find "the one" in time.

As for me - yes, I did become a lawyer in my mid-20s and yes, I had the high paying job at a big law firm. But even then, I knew I wanted the whole package of marriage and children. I was ALWAYS ambivalent about being a lawyer - although I really and truly enjoyed law school, I never wanted to practice law and frankly, once I was in it, never enjoyed it or thought of it as my first priority.

I spent the second half of my twenties working at a corporate law firm and "semi-dating" a coworker. This guy was gorgeous, well educated, and a bit mysterious. He was a single parent at the age of 26, which actually was a huge turn on for me, as I didn't know any other young people with families and even then, I knew I wanted one. Well, it turns out he wasn't so mature, and frankly I wasn't so mature, and let's just say I spent (wasted?) a couple of years of my life pining over this totally unavailable man.

After a series of personal crises and a couple more failed relationships (let's just say my judgment in my 20s wasn't so stellar), I left the law firm life and headed back to grad school at the age of 32. Happily, the tables turned and I got more male attention than I gave, and even had a guy or two pine over ME for a change.  I met several gorgeous, smart, funny, talented guys during that time, and had several short-term relationships with men who weren't "the one".   As I approached my mid-30s, the panic set in and by age 39 I knew I was not going to find someone in time to have a baby.

As for me now, I have been TTC for the better part of two years while simultaneously trying to jump start my new career. I try to date but my heart just isn't in it. I'm actually quite content being single at the moment, and with the exception of the financial factor, am totally at peace with becoming a single mom.

My point is that we aren't all career-hungry vultures trying to break through the glass ceiling at the expense of our personal lives.  We are human women who for whatever reason haven't found a mate in time, and whether or not we all have successful careers is irrelevant to this process.  

And anyway, boxy suits just aren't my style.

Desperation Comes in the Form of Urine of Post-Menopausal Nuns

It continues to be a long road, and I am resisting the urge to post all the gory and mostly negative details on here. The brief rundown is that I have switched fertility clinics, had 2 more IUIs and 2 more negative results. I am now one of these people who injects herself with hormones and spends all her money ($15,000 so far, no joke) on fertility doctors, meds and procedures. It's been a trip to say the least.

This month I will be giving myself not one, but TWO shots each day, one of which is made from, get this, the urine of post-menopausal nuns. Yes, you read that right. Now, why post-menopausal nuns hold the secret to fertility, I will never know.

There is some irony in me injecting myself with nun urine, though. When I was a freshman in college, I became very friendly with a group of 4 other girls, all of whom were, shall we say, inexperienced in the bedroom. Basically, we were all losers in high school and none of us ever had a boyfriend. Instead of going out and partying till dawn every night, we stayed in our dorm room and made up dorky dances to Cat Stevens music. Soon enough, we became known as "The Convent." The five of us remained close friends and roommates, and still have Convent Reunions once a year. Though we have all broken the sacred convent vow of chastity, and most have gone on to have boyfriends, girlfriends and/or children, some of us (ahem, me) are still single. At this point, I may actually be a born-again virgin. Or something. So in my heart, I am still a nun and therefore could be a prime candidate for making Menapur and helping others have babies. Wait.